When fixing is hurting, not helping
I’m a fixer. I like to fix things and I like to fix people. My immediate inclination is to listen for a preliminary trigger statement, then jump on the opportunity to show my wisdom. At home, this tactic steers conversations and interactions into hostility, and many times demonstrates my inability to listen.
Fixing is what many refer to as rescuing. In Transactional Analysis, it’s known as a destructive form of helping.
“If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame.”
“He who has ears to hear, let him listen.”
The Art of Brokenness
For a period of time in my life, I was in care ministry visiting the hurt and dying in hospital/hospices. The biggest lesson I took away is that being intentionally present with someone hurting is the best gift; to let my presence speak for itself. I'd come away wondering if I said the right things or if it was enough. It was only after I left this ministry that I realized it wasn't about me—it was all about Jesus. This is how Jesus uses me, beyond my abilities and fears. Then what did I do? I simply showed up.